Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
