I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
