Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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