When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
