She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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