somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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