none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
