I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
