I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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