hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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