Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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