They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
