ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
