laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
