I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
