I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
