but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
