He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
