I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
