he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
