Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
