You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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