I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
