Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
