Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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