Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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