Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
