i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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