she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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