I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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