I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
