Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
