did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
