If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
