I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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