his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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