I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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