I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
