I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
