i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
