I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
