the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
