Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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