I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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