Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
