Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
