The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
