she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
