Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
