What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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