are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
