I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
