i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
