Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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