You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
