Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
